1988 called. It wants its song back.

I had forgotten how much I loved this song.

Stop Singing that Song!

So H has taken to singing the chorus of "Knute, kleine Eisbär. Too bad she doesn't speak German...



Lunch today at the Tamarind Tree. Later tonight I'm going to a despedida for M, J, and J. They're leaving for good tomorrow, will eventually end up in Shanghai. I should see them in August!

Anyway, dad said it wasn't a "despedida" because I told them it wasn't all about food. So I guess it's just a "going away party."

I've spent most of the afternoon snoozing on the couch. I love summer break. Love it!

This buffalo is delicious.

Why am I not blogging more? What am I doing?

Answer: nothing. So I found this over at unfogged. Watch the whole thing. Yes, the whole thing.



I could probably finish blogging about Vancouver. Or bacalaureate/graduation. We'll see.

Theoretically Speaking

If you were a fan of Spanish class lip-sync videos, and if, theoretically speaking, you would like to see the best video from the Spanish Class Music Video festival which may or may not have taken place in a certain Spanish class, I recommend you go to youtube and check out this video .

I'm sure their teacher is very proud of their work.

It's not about them.

I found this video over at unfogged. Pretty cheerful.

Are you going to say it, or do I have to?

Maybe the reason there are no brown people in this video is because they all didn't want to stay after work for the shoot. The Asians had to go practice violin. It's New York City, right? Maybe they've all gone incog-negro, invisible amongst all the t-shirt wearing white kids with expensive haircuts.

Over about 8Asians I read a while ago how Asian Americans raised on the East Coast are stunned by the level that Asian Americans have integrated into West Coast society. They're stunned to see older generation Asian Americans with jobs that are not restaurant/grocery/dry cleaning. They're surprised when they see older generation Asian Americans speaking American English.

So while Law & Order makes me think of New York City as a gritty, vertical jungle where people of all races and colors come together to deliver frantic monologues and commit and solve horrible murders, the video above reminds me that it's still possible somewhere in America to have a dot.com entirely devoid of dark skin.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised; prime time sitcoms tell me that it's perfectly normal to go an hour or half hour without seeing the part of society that I live in.

Ok, readers, I know some of you are thinking that I'm victimizing the poor, innocent white people of that cheerful video above. You know what? They're gonna be fine. They're young, they're creative, they're attractive, they're white, and their dry cleaning is going to be ready on time. Nobody is suggesting they're a bunch of Asian-hating nazis....

But you noticed. Didn't you?

No, JP, I don't see whiteness, I just see NORMAL people.

Well, there you go. No brown people = normal.

"This shit just got real."

You haven't gone to see Hot Fuzz yet, have you? Well, I enjoyed it.

One thing (not a spoiler): the theme of gun violence might not be all that funny this week, not even in parody form.

I remember when Independence Day came out; I watched it on a hot, summer's Independence Day in DC. It was the first showing, and the crowd was rowdy. We cheered at the screen to see New York, LA, and DC being obliterated by the alien death ray.

A few years later in 2002, I sat in a theater watching The Sum of All Fears, in which Baltimore gets nuked. This time, there was no cheering, no enthusiasm, just dread. The difference? Why September 11th 2001 was the difference. Spectacular mass destruction was no longer an effect to cheer for; it was something we had all imagined.

Similarly, Hot Fuzz' satire of gun-porn may read a little differently in audiences' minds the post-Blacksburg world. It's too bad, because as a parody of action flicks, Hot Fuzz shows a pretty brilliant analysis of the genre.

Japanese Culture Lab

Do you or do you not love these videos from the Japanese Culture Lab? Me, I love them. Love. Them.

What in the Hell?

You got your Shakira in my Beyonce!



No, you got your Beyonce in my Shakira!

Hold Tight.

I will post my eShamrocks later today, so hold tight.

In the meantime, check out this video:

Is somebody gonna order something?

Happy Birthday, Mama!

Happy Birthday to my Mama! You are the coolest!

Pictured here, last month, with me at my cowsin's wedding.

If you haven't yet, you might want to watch Mama's impression of a chicken anus, with a little help from my dad. I'm holding the camera, but my elbow is resting on my sister's shoulder, so the camera shakes when she laughs.

(This video was originally posted last month, when they were here for Christmas.)

Sensei Taiso

Presented without comment.

Go Team Faculty!

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you'll know that the Office of Student Life organizes an Olympic Week, where different classes complete in competitions to win glory for themselves and their class. In the past few years, the Faculty has fielded a team, participating in events such as tricycle racing, Dance Dance Revolution, volleyball, handball, quiz bowl, lightning checkers, etc. I am usually involved in Opening Ceremonies, where we do two minute parades/skits to introduce our team. Opening Ceremonies is actually an event, with points for creativity and execution.

As always, we are going for the jugular. Here's an actual email that I sent to the faculty and staff of the educational institution I work for:

Dear Faculty and Staff,

Here’s an explanation of what we’re doing at Olympic Week Opening Ceremonies.

This email has live links: just click to follow. Some of the links go to youtube.com; you will probably have to authenticate through the firewall if you want to watch these videos at work. You should not have to deal with the firewall if you are trying to view these videos at home.

The Algorithm March is a little dance/exercise made famous on Pythagoras' Swich, which is childrens' show on Japanese public television famous for crazy Rube Goldberg Machines, that make you want to dedicate your life to engineering. (Click here if you just want to watch a full episode of Pythagoras Switch. I highly recommend it. It's a scream). Thank you (T) for passing it on to me.

There are two dances. The first one, which we will be doing, is demonstrated in this video; first individually, so you can learn it, and then with a row of ninjas. Click here if you want to see the same dance being done by professional soccer team, the Kawasaki Frontales. It takes about 60 seconds to go from beginning to end, and it is very easy to learn. There are only eight moves, and several people on campus already know it.

This version of the Algorithm March became a viral video and is being copied all over the world. People are filming themselves doing it, so if you search You Tube, you'll see people from Stockholm, Brazil, even 1000 Filipino prisoners (they were setting a record).

The second dance is slightly different, but even easier. It's based on partners. You can see it demonstrated by the dudes here, or here, with robots, but for the full effect you should watch it being done by Japan's National Polar Research Team.

By the way, there are plenty of examples on You Tube of people that are terrible at it. Here’s some teachers at a pep rally at La Sierra High School. They have problems with form, with rhythm, with execution.... We will NOT have the same problems! --jp

You know, I grew up with Sesame Street. To me Pythagoras' Switch (or "Pitagora Suicchi") is to physics and engineering what Sesame Street was to reading. It has all the same hallmarks: endearing puppets, catchy kid songs, and mesmerizing 60- to 120-second clips between each segment. Apparently the Sesame Street people realized that the kids in their focus group cared more for commercials than the programs themselves, which lead them to create the minute-long, information-packed spots. Of course, Sesame Street used those spots to teach letters, numbers, and memory, and even Spanish (French if you watched the Canadian broadcast).

Pythagoras' Switch does exactly the same thing, except they talk about things like static electricity and industrial efficiency rather than letters and numbers. I have, however, seen two segments where kids are encouraged to make their own "Father Switch." Each Father Switch box has five butons, each with different hiragana. Pressing the buttons compells the Father to do an action that starts with that kana's sound. Apparently, it works for grandfathers, as well.

So Mom and Dad, if you wanted me to become an engineer, you should have raised me watching Pythagoras' Switch. Instead, I watched Sesame Street, so I'm a freak with a phobia of ladybugs who knows how to count to 12 and never forgets to bring home a loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter. Is that my Jacket? I'm so glad Luis didn't drink that gross dirty agua.

This next one shows the origin of some industrial shapes. I'm not kidding.



And this one is about aerodynamics, industrial design, and material engineering.

Snowy Blowy

Dreaming of a world without grading.

Steve Byrne Kims Of Comedy

Add to My Profile Steven Byrne

There are many things I'd like to blog about; how I want to move to China, how I had gelato on a freezing Seattle night, how I ordered risotto and got the same Nico Nico Calrose rice that I've eaten every day of my life. I could even blog about Battlestar Galactica. Or how I've signed up for language exchanges via Skype.

I want to blog about all those things, but I'm in grading hell. Gotta get to work. I wonder if there will be grading hell when I quit my job, sell my condo, and move to China to teach spoken English. Or something like that.

I like this clip of Steven Byrne. Apparently, this footage didn't make the broadcast, it's out takes from the DVD.

"Yet another snowday" and "Gay people, oh no!"

I missed the snow tree phone call this morning; I was in the bathroom. But the snow is coming down, and classes are cancelled! I'm probably the last one who isn't put off by it; at this point we've had so many snow days, even the students are getting irritated.

Last night Robert Mak was fishing for controversy.... you know how they do that, they find something nobody has noticed and then ask people about it, hoping that they could find somebody bigot to say something outragous, so they can break a news story that they manufactured.... Well, yesterday they found an Ikea ad in the newspaper with two men in the kitchen, which implied that they were GAY! GAY GAY GAY!

Quick, Robert Mak, go find a homophobe on the street! I'll get the camera... We'll call it "news!"

Anyway, I find it remarkable only because one of the people they found was my gay-friendly cowsin E. Click here for the video.
_____

The snow is supposed to fall until around 8pm today, and then finally we'll thaw. I think I'll make myself some eggs.

Required Choreography

Did you pin my new guestmap yet? Sheesh!

Below are some examples of choreography my cowsins and I resolved to learn, but never have yet. Why? Because choreography is hillarious. And we often resolve to do things we have no intention of actually doing.

Superstar


Boogie Nights


Thriller


Miss You Much (just the chorus)

Dear White Guy...

Dear White Guy,

Why haven't you been beaten you to death yet?

There are dozens of ways this video is wrong.

Thanks a lot, Angry Asian Man.

______

Today I had school. Dang it! If they don't call a snow day tomorrow, I might eat my shoe. Tomorrow is our Dr. King assembly, and I'm in charge of morning prayer, but I've still got my fingers crossed for a big deep freeze.

Today I had a meeting from 4 to 7, and snack was Ezell's. I teased one of my students for looking exactly like the guy on freecreditreport.com, which I won't link to because it's a scam. It's a scam in that it's not free at all. Incidentally, the youtube comments seem to show that the actor, "I'm thiiiiinking of a number between 450 and 850...." that the guy is a math teacher named Mark Swanson.

At 7pm after the meeting, it was snowing hard, so I offered to drive B home, rather than let her take the bus for 5 hours. We finally made it to SeaTac Mall, where I dropped her off, since the rest of the way was dangerous hills. Her husband came and got her in a minivan with chains. That was around 9pm, and it took me another hour to get back home.

For dinner I made myself two pancakes, some brown n' serve sausages, and a fried egg. That's right, for dinner, so what?

And now I'm tired and I want to go to bed.

Another Snowday? and No Comment Video

Don't you want one of these? I'd like one, but I'll wait until the third or fourth generation of it.

I've decided I want to do this this summer. Now I gotta pay the funding game.

The day started at around 57 degrees. I actually slept in; I jumped out of bed when I realized it was daylight already. Whoops. We had a short day scheduled; a faculty meeting, a luncheon, and an afternoon dedicated to office work. Around 2 pm the wind started kicking up and it sounded like the ocean. People started leaving, especially if they had biked to work, or if they wanted to get across the bridges.

When I got home, my parking spot was filled with construction debris. My condo association's renovation has finally started, and work has started on my building. They've torn up the roof at the other end of the building, and they've excavated around the leak in my basement. I've got an industrial strength dehumidifier going 24 hours in my den, the furniture is moved, and the carpet is pulled back to dry.

I am pretty sure my parking spot has been swept clean, and the roof and excavation have been wrapped in plastic. The wind and rain storm has passed, and now it's relatively calm. The news says it will freeze and snow tonight, so I'm pretty sure classes will be cancelled tomorrow. The big question is how many snow days we'll have. Other teachers and many students, especially the seniors, are wary of missing another day of school, but me, I'm confident that I can adapt. I face the day off work without fear.

And now it's time for a nap.



I don't want to comment on this video, except to tell you that it's about chicken anuses.

Endless Love

C and M's wedding reception, as seen from Table Seven, with music by Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross.