Five Pounds Later

First of all, please send good vibes to 安玛丽 and 姐尼, whose mother Mary Jane passed away this week. Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul rest in peace, Amen.

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I had an appointment with my diabetes RN today; she said my levels were good, and she encouraged me to experiment; eat carbs, and see how my body handles them. Say no more.

It seems I have lost five pounds in the last week. The nurse was a little annoyed at such a dramatic loss in one week, but I totally haven't been trying; I've just been eating better and walking a little. Funny.

My sister and I are going out of town on Memorial Day Weekend. I first thought we might go to Vancouver, but then I remembered I sent my passport to the Chinese consulate for a Visa. Is the passport requirement in place yet? If so, we're either going to Portland or the ocean. We'll see.

Diabetic Neuropathy... NOT.

So all week, I've been tingling. It's hard to describe; my nerves have been pulsing and tracing.

You know how you can go to your "settings" and change your mouse arrow so that it leaves an extended tail? That's why my sense of touch was like, all over my body. I thought, this must be what "rolling" on ecstasy feels like, except totally scary.

So I've been preparing to tell my doctor that I have diabetic neuropathy. Right? My blood sugar levels are way too low to indicate neuropathy, but what else can explain it? Then I thought, maybe my doctor won't clear me to go to China this summer, maybe my latest escape plan is in the toilet because no one wants to hire a 34 year old health disaster that I'm becoming.

So all week, I have limited my carbs. I haven't been doing Atkins-level carb avoiding, but my carb intake has been lower than normal. During the school week, the only carbs in my body were from a couple tapioca spring roll wrappers. The result? Blood sugar levels in the normal range. Yay! So why are my nerves tingling?

On Thursday, the tingling finally went away, after book club dinner. There was some sugar in the salad dressing, carbs in the croutons, and then a sweet fruit salad. On Friday I had a pastrami wrap with a big flour tortilla, and then chicken tacos with corn tortillas. No tingling. Yesterday, I had half and English muffin for breakfast; no carbs at Ipanema for lunch, but then in the evening, I ate a bag of popcorn. No tingling!

A little bit of good carbs = no tingling.

So I'm going to ease up on my carb restrictions. My blood sugar is so close to normal; I don't have to avoid carbs as much as I thought. I'll still avoid the dangerous ones: steamed white rice, birthday cake, etc. But I think there is some whole wheat toast in my future. Maybe even a pancake.

By the way, I tested at 104 this morning at 9 am, after 12 hours of fasting. That's just five little points above normal.

If your wondering how long this blog is going to remain all blood sugar, all the time, ease your mind. I myself am growing weary of the diabetes posts, so it might be time to start paying attention to the world again.

For example, L.A. Jane is the Master of Shit and has a job interview! Somebody high-five that woman!

Whose results are those?

So I met with the RN today, and my meeting with her was less demoralizing than with the nutritionist.

First of all, we didn't talk about gross American health food. Second, my blood pressure was 102/64. How the heck did it get that good?

Also, I got my sexy new glucose monitor, I tried it out, and scored 103 at 4:30 in the afternoon!

My breakfast? A hard boiled egg and a packet of sugar-free oatmeal.

My lunch? Two salad rolls: chicken breast and seasoned bean sprouts, wrapped in some mâche and a tapioca wrapper. Some roasted chinese broccoli, another boiled egg, and some sugar free finger jello.
103, baby.

And then for dinner: a little bit of roast porkloin, some more bean sprouts, some more roast chinese broccoli, and some more jello. Plus one corn tortilla with a little bit of guacamole.

I might have a cup of tea before bed. I'm not that hungry, just bored.

Baoninato! Diabetes and my latest escape plan.

So now I have diabetes. Baoninato! I told my sister I was "hyperglycemic," which sounds more annoying than scary. I told my mama the D-word, which made her really sad, which in turn made me sad. I had been angry at myself all week (and hungry) since the test result, but telling my mama made me want to cry.

So whatever, I went to see the nutritionist, who was ok with my current eating habits, except for three things: 1) eat out less, 2) no more orange juice, 3) count carbs.

She also told me to exercise, which was like, duh, but ever since then, I've set aside an hour a day. I'm actually less irritated by having to exercise than by having to wash my damn dishes all the time, since I have to stop eating out.

She gave me a bunch of pamphlets and showed me with some rubber food how to control my portions. Of course, it was baked chicken breast, a scoop of potatoes, and a pile of American broccoli, so immediately I loathe her skinny white ass. I need to find an Asian nutritionist. Or at least one that's not telling me about white American food. Sorry, white people; as an ethnicity, you have the most demoralizing health food.

I want me a Japanese nutritionist. Or a Lebanese nutritionist. I know that Italians and Koreans have nutritionists, will you talk to me? Can I go to Greece and talk to a nutritionist? or Brazil?

Or maybe I just have to contact the people that make rubber food....

Anyway, the RN is going to show me the joys of checking my glucose on Monday.

The trick is going to be figuring out how to control my blood sugar in China.

Let's talk about China. I'm absolutely going to Hangzhou this summer, I hope I learn hella Mandarin. Six weeks, no English. Then, it's back to Seattle.

I had a talk with my sister; I should follow my friends to Shanghai and get a job at an international school. The pay is better, the housing is free, and personal expenses are less than $400/month. According to my friend.

If that's the case, I would have enough money to invest, feed my retirement, and take my family on fabulous vacations. No mortgage, no rent, no car insurance, no car! I would have a house keeper and I'd speak Chinese every day. Wouldn't that be something?

What would I be leaving behind? First, my sister and my extended family. A few close friends. Beautiful, cosmopolitan, no-transit Seattle. A pretty sweet contract at work, molded around my personal strengths. My cool condo in Columbia City.

My sister is grown, she doesn't need me looking over her shoulder. I will be able to afford to come back to Seattle a few times a year to see family and friends, and hang out in Seattle. In the mean time, I will be having new adventures with a car-less life style, my carbon footprint will be much smaller. I'll probably end up teaching more classes than I want to, that will be a challenge. Finally, when I decide to move back to Seattle, I will be able to afford a place that is even cooler than the place I'm at now.

So that's my latest escape plan. I'll teach one more year in Seattle, and spend it trying to get a position at an international school, preferably where my friends are in Shanghai. Actually, any urban setting in Asia would be fine, but if I can get a job at the school where my friends teach, that would be sweet.

To be realistic, I've had many escape plans over the years, all of which involved periods of poverty; i.e., graduate school. The international school plan is different: it involves making more money, and right away. So this plan is going to work.

This post is going to be a shocker for some of my readers; major health problems and a major career discernment, all in one post. Maybe the next post will be musical.

Kidney Watch

So my blood test last week came back with high glucose, bun, and creatinine. Whoops. Not sure if it's due to the adjustment in meds, or if it's because I took the blood test right after lunch.

Lunch was beef teriyaki (no teriyaki sauce), veggie tempura, and rice.

So far one MD has called, and another has emailed, telling me to drink more water.

Can do!