Saturday, April 28, 2007

Baoninato! Diabetes and my latest escape plan.

So now I have diabetes. Baoninato! I told my sister I was "hyperglycemic," which sounds more annoying than scary. I told my mama the D-word, which made her really sad, which in turn made me sad. I had been angry at myself all week (and hungry) since the test result, but telling my mama made me want to cry.

So whatever, I went to see the nutritionist, who was ok with my current eating habits, except for three things: 1) eat out less, 2) no more orange juice, 3) count carbs.

She also told me to exercise, which was like, duh, but ever since then, I've set aside an hour a day. I'm actually less irritated by having to exercise than by having to wash my damn dishes all the time, since I have to stop eating out.

She gave me a bunch of pamphlets and showed me with some rubber food how to control my portions. Of course, it was baked chicken breast, a scoop of potatoes, and a pile of American broccoli, so immediately I loathe her skinny white ass. I need to find an Asian nutritionist. Or at least one that's not telling me about white American food. Sorry, white people; as an ethnicity, you have the most demoralizing health food.

I want me a Japanese nutritionist. Or a Lebanese nutritionist. I know that Italians and Koreans have nutritionists, will you talk to me? Can I go to Greece and talk to a nutritionist? or Brazil?

Or maybe I just have to contact the people that make rubber food....

Anyway, the RN is going to show me the joys of checking my glucose on Monday.

The trick is going to be figuring out how to control my blood sugar in China.

Let's talk about China. I'm absolutely going to Hangzhou this summer, I hope I learn hella Mandarin. Six weeks, no English. Then, it's back to Seattle.

I had a talk with my sister; I should follow my friends to Shanghai and get a job at an international school. The pay is better, the housing is free, and personal expenses are less than $400/month. According to my friend.

If that's the case, I would have enough money to invest, feed my retirement, and take my family on fabulous vacations. No mortgage, no rent, no car insurance, no car! I would have a house keeper and I'd speak Chinese every day. Wouldn't that be something?

What would I be leaving behind? First, my sister and my extended family. A few close friends. Beautiful, cosmopolitan, no-transit Seattle. A pretty sweet contract at work, molded around my personal strengths. My cool condo in Columbia City.

My sister is grown, she doesn't need me looking over her shoulder. I will be able to afford to come back to Seattle a few times a year to see family and friends, and hang out in Seattle. In the mean time, I will be having new adventures with a car-less life style, my carbon footprint will be much smaller. I'll probably end up teaching more classes than I want to, that will be a challenge. Finally, when I decide to move back to Seattle, I will be able to afford a place that is even cooler than the place I'm at now.

So that's my latest escape plan. I'll teach one more year in Seattle, and spend it trying to get a position at an international school, preferably where my friends are in Shanghai. Actually, any urban setting in Asia would be fine, but if I can get a job at the school where my friends teach, that would be sweet.

To be realistic, I've had many escape plans over the years, all of which involved periods of poverty; i.e., graduate school. The international school plan is different: it involves making more money, and right away. So this plan is going to work.

This post is going to be a shocker for some of my readers; major health problems and a major career discernment, all in one post. Maybe the next post will be musical.


Orange said...

Effing diabetes. Sorry to hear that, JP.

Maybe I should put you in touch with my husband's Tia Clarita. She's a dietitian who worked at the VA for years (i.e., undoubtedly craploads of experience with diabetic men), and cooks healthy Filipino-inflected meals for herself. She's over 60 but still thin, so she must be eating right, eh? But then, surely Seattle has some Asian nutritionists out there?

Vanessa said...

What about a white nutritionist living in Italy? My friend, Jen, is an RD and is moving back to Italy on Monday. She might be getting a position as an RD at the University in Siena. If you really want her advice I'll give you her email.

Chadwick said...

You and Greycat can have diabetic playdates! He has diabetes too. We're able to control his just with diet now, but I've been told that cat diabetes is different from human diabetes.

Seriously JP, sorry to hear about your diabetes. Your plans for China sound absolutely glamorous. I hope you aren't surrounded by people like Kwan. You should think about renting your condo while you're gone. Then you can keep building equity.

Nicklebug said...

Diabetes blows.

I'm considering joining the Y. Wanna come? If your brand of exercise includes walks and you ever want a walking partner, lemme know. Now that the weather is decent, our neighborhood is a great place for walking.

ding said...

i spit on the diabetes!

i'm sorry about that, jp. i think i may have it, too. why don't i know for sure? because i'm scared to know. it's in my family.

but i'm so with you on finding a non-white nutritionist. i really need to find one that won't tell me greens are bad. i need one to show me how to eat greens without all the danger in it - and still tastes like greens.