Limerick Fest's 10 Best

After much procrastination, I would like to present to you my eShamrocks; the top ten sweetest entries from my 2007 San Patricio Limerick Festival, as determined by a panel of distinguished judges... me alone. As always, I favored the rhythmically correct and the ones that echoed my political bias. I excluded my own entries, as well as the ones that were posted after the midnight deadline.

Enjoy!

I'm starting to think that Obama

Could rescue us all from the trauma

That W started

With Cheney, whole-hearted.
'cause Hilary's way too much drama.
Posted by jane 3/09/2007 11:32 PM

Condolences dear Mr. Scooter

You gave your neck up for the Shooter

But soon the Decider

Ole Pardon Provider

Will be your number one rooter.
Posted by Paradise_Found 3/10/2007 11:50 AM

Bin Laden is fifty today,

To him I have one thing to say

Wherever you are(no matter how far),

I hope you don't live to see May
Posted by Osiris 3/10/2007 6:39 PM

Now Scooter's a brazenfaced liar

Who's facing juridical fire.

He flouted the law,

But his plan had a flaw;

May he soon be in prison attire.
Posted by leslie in ca 3/11/2007 11:51 AM

okay, I took the "what rhymes with global warming?" question as a challenge...

How to escape global warming?

Develop sci-fi terraforming!

Forget cleaner cars --let's colonize Mars!

(It's better than more Desert Storm-ing.)

Upon watching "Who Killed The Electric Car?"

With scientists all in agreement
the truth still remains inconvenient.

Technology's grown

(there's computers in phones!)

so why are our engines not clean yet?
Posted by pamela wynne 3/11/2007 9:09 PM

It is spring again here in the north

And all hormones begin springing forth

I'd be willing to pay

For a roll in the hay

And for the second, the third, and the fourth.
Posted by LG 3/14/2007 1:50 AM

The Gardasil mandate smells funny

It would make Merck’s financials quite sunny

They’re in such a big hurry
That it makes me worry

It’s not about health—it’s the money.
Posted by CindyC 3/14/2007 11:12 AM

I once went to bed with this bum

Who peaced out before I could come.

So I stuck out my chin

And stayed and peaced in

And came by my own rule of thumb.
Posted by planetten 3/15/2007 5:51 PM

I guess I was Baptist too long

To want to prove stuff right or wrong.

I'm weary of judging.

Must we hoist the bludgeon

On people who like to suck schlong?
Posted by istherenosininit 3/13/2007 3:36 PM

Honorable Mention:

There once was a bunch of old wrecks

Who could not bear for girls to have sex

This they could not confess

Without seeming a mess

So they invented an entire pseudo-science about life beginning at conception, “fetal pain,” and Plan B as abortion, and did everything they could to divert state and federal funding into so-called “pregnancy crisis centers” and overturn Roe v. Wade. Those fucking puritan nitwits.
Posted by Nancy 3/12/2007 6:52 PM