please cancel school please please cancel school

It's snowing in Seattle, folks. I've heard reports from Ballard, Madison Park, Capitol Hill, Shoreline, Maple Leaf, and I'm proud to report that yes, it is now snowing in Columbia City.

Ok, first things first. You people that move to Seattle and sneer bitterly about how Seattle drivers don't know how to drive in snow you SHUT IT. Honestly. Seattle shuts down with the first snowflake, and that's how it is. Figure it out. Nobody cares that you're from the Midwest or Northeast. If I want to know a non-seattle opinion, I'll check a web cam.

For only a few days a year, sometimes as much as a work week, sometimes just one day, Seattle shuts down for snow. Why do we shut down? Because we have all kinds of wonders that you don't have in the midwest: steep hills, choke-point bridges. NO, it's NOT worth the millions of dollars to invest in municipal snow plows, NO, your shit is not so important that you can't miss one day of your stupid desk job.

Don't get me wrong, I hate snow. But I loves me some snow days. I and will punch anyone in the face that tries to tells me that this day was not about hills and bridges.

If you want to bitch about something, bitch about local news going into full disaster mode. But you know too well that those same terrible local news that you ridicule today are the only ones consoling you when you've wet your pants in a 3.0 earthquake, because 'nothing like that ever happens back in Ohio....'

For now, I will keep grading papers as planned. But tomorrow, when classes are canceled, I will put up the Christmas tree.