What exactly would happen?

After weeks of waiting, I finally signed the refinance papers, which will make my life a lot simpler. My new deal will roll my two mortgages, my car payment, my property taxes, my credit card debt, and my overdraft account into one payment, plus give me some money to replace my gross carpets with wood floors. Yay!

As I said above, I've been waiting for weeks for this to happen... there was some drama between the lender and the insurance company that I had to wait out... so certain monthly payments of mine didn't get made. Why make a payment, when the whole account is about to get paid off?

So when those monthly payements came past due, my debtors call me on the phone. Of course, I told them I'm refinancing, and the people I talk to give me the thumbs up. No problem, they say, that's a very common reason why payments come past due. They make a note in the computer. Have a great day!

However, they do not take my name off the robo-calls. I've gotten four calls per day for the past couple weeks. It takes very little effort to screen their calls and ignore their messages. Today I actually answered one of the calls, which switched to a person fast enough to hold my interest. Of course I told them that the papers have been signed, and that we're just waiting to close.

The person, Jennifer was her name, cheerfully said she'd make a note in the computer. She told me, just as cheerfully, that if they don't receive the payment from in three days, that they'll give me a call.

That's fine with me. Maybe the deal will close tomorrow; maybe it will close Monday. I don't know, it's out of my hands. If I start getting robo-calls again, I'll start ignoring them again.

Here's what I want to know. What happens if I don't pay those people? I have a good idea of what happens to me, but what happens to them?

If I decide not to pay them, do they suffer some kind of hardship? Does somebody's kid not get to eat? Can somebody not afford to buy their mama an asparin if one dude in Seattle decides to end payments? Apparently, my payments are important to them, if they're going to call me multiple times a day with their robots. But what is at the root of this compulsion to make me pay? Is somebody in physical danger? Does society move closer to collapse if they don't get my checks?

Obviously, I didn't take economics in college, because I just don't see the wider repercussions. If one dude in Seattle somehow can't make a payment, I don't think the white guys in suits with expensive haircuts and manicures who depend on my checks and the checks of others for their livelyhood will suffer in this lifetime. In fact, I would guess that there is nothing I could do to hurt those people financially. They will be safe and well fed, regardless of how current my account is.

Carnival of Absurdity

You can look at toothpastery's photos if you want. Thanks, seattlest.

This guy won't shave his beard until Osama Bin Laden is captured or killed. Thanks tpm.

I signed my refi documents today, finally. I still have to buy poster board, schedule a sleep study, and see the oral surgeon.

Work right now is kind of a carnival of absuridty. Today we were given a calculation worksheet of the hours we work per week. Nobody's calculation adds up to the TWENTY THREE POINT FIVE hours that has been handed down from the mountain. So that means everyone has lunchroom duty.

I took my worksheet and drew a unicorn on it. Right in front of the art teacher, she was impressed. Then I drew in a gate that the unicorn was jumping, as well as a rainbow and a pot of gold. I posted it on my magnetic whiteboard, and people have come into my office to see my unicorn.

Tonight was Back To School night for parents. I gave my students' parents a half sheet with my contact info, a list of required and recommended books, the grade calculation.... In the second column, I had a list of the ways that parents who don't speak Spanish can pester their kids about Spanish class (Ask what short story they're reading! Ask how women are portrayed!)

I'm thinking about hosting another poetry festival in October, not sure what to call for.

It's 9:50. My sister just invited me over to her place for a sleepover. She's making cookies. I'm considering it. Cookies!

Carnival of absurdity.

Red Alert: Koriput.

Filipino American word of the day: koriput. It means 'stingy' and there's a tinge of humor to it.

My financial terror level has been set to Red: Koriput. I am broke as a joke. (get it?)

It's only the 5th of the month, but I'm already operating on emergency procedures. After months of successfully saving, I'm down to two digits in savings and checking. The culprits? University credits that my grant didn't cover, and 30,000 mile check up.

Don't worry, mama, my refi will go through this month, so instead of paying my mortage, I will take care of my property taxes, and then the rest of my savings for the year will go toward our trip to Europe.

Ay. Anyway, all my bills are paid for the month, so that's good news. Until payday, I will allow myself to use the credit card for a) groceries, b) piano lessons, c) gas, d) new glasses. THAT'S IT. No more eating in restaurants, buying school supplies, seeing movies, replacing light bulbs, getting my hair did... none of that good stuff.

Luckily, I have plenty of groceries now, so I doubt that I'll get to the point of crying into tuna and rice at all.

__________________________

Dear non-latin world,

I have seen you do "latin" ice dancing, and "latin" so-you-think-you-can-dance now, and I'm sick of your spicy stereotypes. Some of you think latin=vulgar, and that's why when you try to do latin dancing, you look vulgar.

You want to know the secret of latin dancing? There are two secrets: a) your posture must be impeccable; b) the partners must act like they are either proud of each other or they want each other. The end.

So no slouching. No writhing. No hairography. No molesting. The 'sensuality' that people talk about when they talk about latin dancing comes from being sensual, not dancing sensual.

Love, your favorite Spanish teacher.

ps. Yes, I am your favorite Spanish teacher. Make a note of it.