Red Alert: Koriput.

Filipino American word of the day: koriput. It means 'stingy' and there's a tinge of humor to it.

My financial terror level has been set to Red: Koriput. I am broke as a joke. (get it?)

It's only the 5th of the month, but I'm already operating on emergency procedures. After months of successfully saving, I'm down to two digits in savings and checking. The culprits? University credits that my grant didn't cover, and 30,000 mile check up.

Don't worry, mama, my refi will go through this month, so instead of paying my mortage, I will take care of my property taxes, and then the rest of my savings for the year will go toward our trip to Europe.

Ay. Anyway, all my bills are paid for the month, so that's good news. Until payday, I will allow myself to use the credit card for a) groceries, b) piano lessons, c) gas, d) new glasses. THAT'S IT. No more eating in restaurants, buying school supplies, seeing movies, replacing light bulbs, getting my hair did... none of that good stuff.

Luckily, I have plenty of groceries now, so I doubt that I'll get to the point of crying into tuna and rice at all.

__________________________

Dear non-latin world,

I have seen you do "latin" ice dancing, and "latin" so-you-think-you-can-dance now, and I'm sick of your spicy stereotypes. Some of you think latin=vulgar, and that's why when you try to do latin dancing, you look vulgar.

You want to know the secret of latin dancing? There are two secrets: a) your posture must be impeccable; b) the partners must act like they are either proud of each other or they want each other. The end.

So no slouching. No writhing. No hairography. No molesting. The 'sensuality' that people talk about when they talk about latin dancing comes from being sensual, not dancing sensual.

Love, your favorite Spanish teacher.

ps. Yes, I am your favorite Spanish teacher. Make a note of it.