Tuesday, July 25, 2006

bluetooth wireless computer pants.

Ok, this is my brainstorm, tell me you love it.

Wouldn't it be great if you could type with your hands in your lap? We've all seen those supposedly ergonomic keyboards, with the two hands separated for comfort. What if you separated those two halves of the keyboard even further.... AND SEWED THEM INTO PANTS.

That's right! The keyboard sewn into your pants, so you just sit comfortably with your hands in your lap, and type away, directly into your pants. The pants are wirelessly connected to your computer of course, so just sit at your desk with your hands in your lap, and type type away!

Of course, then where to put the mouse?

In the crotch, of course! Point and click with a trackball mouse sewn directly into your crotch! Write your novel! Play minesweeper! Touch up photos! You'll love your crotch mouse!

Later, once computer pants are available in different styles and colors, you can sew the mouse into the belly, or the chest of your jacket, or into your baseball cap, who cares. Work the marketing!

And because it's all wireless, when it's time to take a break, you simply get up and walk away! Run, stretch, kick... and then when the break is over, have a seat, and then type, click, type away!

Isn't this a great idea? I can't wait to see it in action!


myrna said...

Will you be singing the song: I click the tick in my crouch! Oh, no my dear, I just caught some crabs!


Orange said...

I suppose the vague resemblance between the mouse's trackwheel and a clitoris did not escape your notice?

Those pants will be awesome. Skirts are comfy, too—I hope you'll have your company design some really cute skirt keyboards, too.

myrna said...

Ayyy, bastos, orange! Watch your language, this is not discovery health channel.

liza said...

You should hook up with Diana from last year's Project Runway--she could make it happen.

john patrick said...

Ay mama, since when was Discovery Health bastos?

It's not bastos to compare a mouse to a clitoris, ha? I think it's more bastos to talk about your crabs!

john patrick said...

Limited edition:

Slacker pants! Keyboard is inside pants, accesed through the pockets.

(somebody take the bait...)

myrna said...

Discovery Health Channel is not bastos channel. In fact, I watch it all the time, one of my favorites, along with History channel, HGTV and the Food channel, and of course the local and national news channels. The discovery Health channel is where I get my update on some medical information.

The word verification on this blog comment today is erjye. I wonder what it means. I also do not understand why it is needed here. Expain?

john patrick said...

Good, I think the clitoral stimulation of the crotch mouse is one of the finest selling points.

I have a word verification on the ol' comments section because hackers write programs that search the web for open comments and then spams them with advertizements and links.

The word verification prevents the hacker programs from auto-spamming, because it can't read the distorted letters.

myrna said...

Remember the US Surgeon General, Dr. Elders, who got fired from her job because she had to answer a leading question from the press and she mentioned the word m---t----tion? Be careful.

john patrick said...


Dr. Elders said that that public schools should teach sexual education. Someone asked, "does that include masturbation?" and Dr. Elders said, "Yes."

The world wasn't ready for the truth. But the world IS ready for FABULOUS COMPUTER CLASS!

ding said...

boys and their desire to put everything in their pants.


i'm still waiting for a space-age People Tube that can transport me from here to Boston (or Seattle) just like *that*. so much cooler than blue tooth computer pants.

john patrick said...

Hmph! I will hmph your face.

It is just like you to be all outcome and no practicality. Just imagine what coming 2000 miles "just like that" will do to your hair-do.

Besides, as soon as they build your People Tube, you're going to be in my face saying, "I don't GET instant travel. What is WRONG with taking Amtrack?"

Tell me I'm wrong.