Wild generalizations about Seattlites.

I like Seattle. It's a lot like LA in terms of car culture, but the isolation is a little less bitter here, and if you in the where I live, there's no traffic. (suburbanites can expect traffic every day).

There's a lot of big city liberal decadence here, but not a lot of big city hostility.

Your bartender will get your drink right, quickly and with a smile, but without a lot of fuss or talking. There's a genuine attitude of friendliness here, coupled with a healthy dose of 'mind your own business;' a combination that midwesterners find infuriating.

There is no tailgate riding in Seattle. No one will cut you off in traffic here. If you need to get into the next lane, you put on your signal, and a Seattlite will let you in. You can live here for a year and count the angry carhorns you hear on one finger.

We refused to appear rushed. We may be in a big rush, but nothing is so important that we have to LOOK rushed.

We have clean air. We have public spaces that are both beautiful and accessible. We have original music and blown glass. We have neighborhoods with distinct personalities. We have places that are quiet.

We have generations of people who are culturally competent, who know how to say "ethnicity" and who know how to be culturally curious without bearing their asssssumptions. We tend to be educated, literate, and well traveled, but we don't flaunt it.

We have the exact same social restrictions on cell phone conversations as we do with cigarette smoking; never at the table, never in front of someone who's not participating. Out on the porch.

If you ever find yourself having to push your car, you don't have to ask for help. Just start pushing, and men will stop what they're doing and join you, without a word.

We have fresh fish here, good beer, good coffee, excellent noodles, world class fortune cookies.

Are you ready?

We close at 11pm. We can wear jeans to the symphony. We don't go to the clubs on week nights. We'll yell at you if you don't pick up after your dog. We will tap your bumper to parallel park. If you're physically able to open a car door, we won't do it for you. If you get our espresso order wrong, you won't see us again.

Are you moving here? We won't throw you welome parties or make you a casserole; we won't invite you over, and we probably won't invite you to join us for a beer. In fact, we will do nothing to take up your time, lest you think that we assume you have no plans. That is, unless you say something explicit like, "What should I do tonight?"

We will judge you if you order a lager instead of an ale. Or if you mask salmon with a sauce. We will use asian words in context like bahn mi, sio mai, and hamachi, and not overpronounce them. We maintain a semantic difference between the words "soda" and "pop." If your espresso order is four words or more, we will make a mental note of your immaturity. Iceburg lettuce in a salad is a tongue-in-cheek choice, a conscious purposful decision to be retro.

We won't look at you as we pass you on the street. We keep our doors locked. We say please, thank you, and you're welcome, and expect the same from you. You won't find good Mexican food in Seattle on your own, and we won't tell you where it is unless you ask.

We have no rapid transit.

It's a mistake to simply say Seattlites are aloof or Seattlites are laid-back. We have our own, specific culture and dialect that can hit visitors and new arrivals like a buzz saw. And, as far as major metropolitan areas go, Seattle is among the more boring.

But it is a beautiful place to be bored. And you can go years without shoveling snow.