Friday, November 18, 2005

Absolutely Comcastic!

So I have Comcast digital cable and high speed internet. I like the services and I don't mind paying the bill as long as I don't have to talk to any *people* I'm just fine.

When I need service, however, or have a question with the bill, I always end up asking myself if my life would be better if I just CANCEL the damn service, and use the money I save to buy some furniture.

Today, I discovered that you can IM a Comcast analyst. Great! I thought, I can just chat about my problem, I won't be spending hours on the phone, talking to someone who isn't trying to understand me.

The problem: I have a weak signal. The service comes in off an arial wire in the street; when it gets to my casita, it's divided to four jacks. Two jacks are currently being used by tvs; one jack is being used by the cable modem.

I know it's a weak signal. It was an issue before, with my tv picture. Also, my internet crashes every time I turn on the upstairs tv. Weak signal.

So I log on to chat with a Comcast analyst: I get Wendy. Wendy says, it might be your router. It might be your router. No, Wendy, here's three reasons why it's not the router! She says, you have to rule out the router before we can procede. I say, ok, Wendy, here's what's going to happen: I will bypass the router and see if I lose the signal when I turn on the upstairs tv. Fine she says. Fine, I say.

I turn on the upstairs tv, and as I predicted, my internet crashes for two hours. See Wendy? It wasn't the router. It was the signal. Or the modem. BUT NOT THE ROUTER.

After a few hours (dinner: take out from the Ethiopian restaurant; afterwards I did sight reading exercises on the guitar) I finally reset my cable modem enough times so that it's working. It's forgotten all about that upstairs tv that sends it into a tizzy.

I sign on to chat with a Comcast analyst again. This time I get Randy. Randy! It's not the router! Don't make me check the router! Wendy made me check the router, even though I knew better, and she was WRONG. And my internet was down for hours because of her!

Randy says fine, I understand, let's set up an appointment for Wednesday. Is 8 to 12 ok? Yes Randy, thank you! Randy? Randy! Are you there?

Of course you're not there, I lost the connection.

So I reset the modem and giggle all the wires. Again. And my internet comes back. Again. So I log on to chat with a Comcast analyst, and this time I get Dave.

Hi Dave. Just tell me that the appointment I was setting up with Randy is a go. I told it all to Randy; Randy was hooking me up, and I lost him. Tell me that appointment is in the system.

Ok, says Dave. Who am I speaking to?

DAVE, MY NAME IS JP! THE LAST FOUR OF MY SOCIAL ARE XXXX. TELL ME THAT I HAVE AN APPT FOR WEDNESDAY FROM 8 TO 12!

Yes, your appointment is a go. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Thanks, Dave, all I wanted to know was that my appointment was set. By the way, where are you chatting from?

JP, you're welcome about the appointment. We are chatting from the US. Is there anything else I can help you with?

No thanks, Dave, that's it. Have a great night out there in the US.

--session ended by analyst--

I don't like dealing with the Comcast people. I don't!

4 comments:

ding said...

remember that day in grad school when i sat in your office and moaned i was so broke i was going to have to give up my prodigy account?

and then you called me a name. i forget.

john patrick said...

Ambagel?

Kuwatit?

Maarte?

OA?

Maharishi?

Tangga?

Gaga?

Mensa?

Babosa?

So many names I've called you...

ding said...

you have *never* called me babosa. have you? my sister calls me that and i hate it. pangit.

and i don't remember gaga, mensa, tangaa, maarte or kuwatit, either. and what's OA?

you may have called me maharishi...

john patrick said...

I prolly never called you babosa. Maybe I called you excuntla.

OA = Over Acting.

Ajay called you majarishi. I'm surprised you forgot that...