I have a rule that when I travel, I don't let other people dictate where I'm going, especially when they what they want to do is waste their time in an indecisive group, especially when what they end up doing is going to McDonalds. I figure that I didn't spend my hard earned money to go so far from home to let other people dictate the terms of my experience.

Auntie Baby N is the same way. After we all overate, and everyone else had left to go watch tv, Auntie Baby N stayed at the table with me and told me stories.

A few years ago, her friend told her to join her on a cruise. She had the money at the time, but was afraid to blow it all on a trip, so she spent the money on other stuff. Then her coworker told her, you know, you may not get another chance! So she changed her mind, and charged the cruise to her credit card.

The cruise went from Rome to Greece, to Israel, to Egypt, in 17 days. They spent most of the time on the ship, which she got sick of, but when they got into port, there was a bus waiting for them. Tour guides took them around after that to see the sights.

The guides also take them to jewelry stores because they get a percentage of whatever the tourist bus buys. In Italy, a guide took them to a jewelry store and they stayed for a long time, but in the end the tourists didn't buy much. So after that, the guide took them to another jewelry store! Well, the tourists refused to get off the bus, so the guide told them to screw off and got off the bus. That was the end of the tour; the driver took them back to the ship.

Then, when they were in Athens, they had some free time to climb up to the Acropolis. Well, one guy decided he didn't want to go. He was scared of heights ever since he had run his car off the road and ended up teetering off the edge of a cliff. So the guy told the group that he would wait for them below. Apparently, everyone in the group felt bad for him, and they decided not to go up either. So then Auntie Baby N, said I'm going! and she took off up the hill, muttering under her breath, I did not charge this trip to my credit card and travel all this way on a boat to NOT see the Acropolis. So she went, and she's glad she did.

She also went to Israel, and she's glad she did, because the next year, Isreal was no longer a tourist destination due to the intifada. She says Tel Aviv was cleaner and nicer than American cities.

And then she went to Egypt, saw the pyramids, etc. While on excursion, they were offered the chance to ride a camel. Everyone said, oh no, that's ok. Nobody wanted to ride the camel. So then Auntie Baby N said, I'm going! and she took the seat behind the camel driver, muttering under her breath, I did not charge this trip to my credit card and travel all this way on the boat to NOT take a camel ride. So she got on the camel.

Camels are tall.

When the camel stood up, Auntie Baby N got dizzy. I'm afraid of heights, she told me, not afraid of being in a tall building, but afraid of falling. I can't stand at the edge of a ledge and look down. So she asked the driver to put her down.

We'll just go a little way, he says.

No! Put me down now! Put me down! Put me down! Putmedownputmedownputme DOWN!

So finally, the driver kneeled the camel, and Auntie Baby N got off. She was very relieved.

Then somebody said, what's that on your jacket?

She turned around to look, and there was a big clump of crap on her back. What is it? It's a poo! There's a poo on the back of her jacket! When she got of the camel and was standing beside it, the camel had poo'ed and then with it's tail, had flung it onto her back.

Gross! A camel poo on your back!

You know what, says Auntie Baby N, it didn't smell! It didn't smell bad! Camels don't eat meat.

The camel is a vegetarian?

Yah! Even the poo was like a vegetable!

She removed the jacket, rolled it into a ball, and then threw it away. I couldn't keep the jacket! she said.

Gross, Auntie.

She invited C and I to go eat at her place. We're definately going.