Tonight was my school's Baccalaureate Mass. It was great; the kids spoke great, the music was great, everything went like clockwork.

When I had my wisdom teeth out back in high school, I woke up thirsty as hell. I should have been; my mouth had been open for hours. I asked for water, and some bitch nurse said "um, no, maybe a milkshake." Meanwhile, I'm dying of thirst.

So my dad comes to pick me up, and he's like, so you want to go shopping? No, I'm dying of thirst! We have to go to McDonalds and get a milkshake.

My dad's like, can we stop at a hardware store?

This is because nobody cares about my needs. My needs have never never been important enough. I have found, though, that my father will listen to me if I embarass him in public.

So anyway, I'm so thirsty I'm almost crying, and my dad is driving slowly to piss me off. Asshole. When we finally get to McDonalds, he asks me "what do you want?"

I want a milkshake, please.

What flavor?

Any flavor, I'm dying of thirst!

What flavor?

STRAWBERRY! At this point I'm crying and I'm ready to punch the windshield.

My dad looks at me like I'm stupid. Do you want anything to eat?

My mouth is full of dried blood, stitches, and cotton.

Goddamit that was the best strawberry milkshake I've ever had. And all it cost my father was a couple of dollars and a lifetime of resentment.