Saturday, October 29, 2005

what do i want? a hot dog?

raver
Raver Asian --
Most likely to say: "Pass me a
glowstick!"
- You're the most common type of asian. Even if
you can't rave, you know someone who can. Most
of your friends are asian but you're not as
cliquey as the Gangsta Asian. You get good
grades, but may have smoked something once or
twice in your life. Your hair has probly been
dyed an unnatural color once in your life too,
and you can most likely dress.
*Best Asian Match: Raver Asians usually, but
Gangsta Asians too, and only sometimes Banana
Asians


How Asian Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm getting hungry








Almost Asian
...and your score is... 67%!
You might be an ABC or a Fobabee or even just someone who genuinely appreciates culture. Yay!! Keep watchin' that anime and eating that dimsum. Learn a few more words, and you'll beef up your aznpoints in no time.

If you're really interested in Asian stereotypes, I found some more colorful descriptions on this page: Asian Stereotypes








My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:










free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 80% on aznpoints
Link: The How Asian Are You? Test written by twiddlykinks on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

dude.

100rice
Hella asian 100%


How azn are u?
brought to you by Quizilla

whatever, man.








Asian
You are 73% asian!
You scored high enough, so...Now you are qualified to call yourself an asian, even if you're not :P *claps* BTW if you scored between 51%-59%, you are BARELY Asian. Now that you have your result. I DEMAND that you rate my test. *bows* If you liked this test. click on my name and take my other tests damnit. NOW! P.S if you scored low and want to give me a bad rating. you are an asshole. you either are really stupid or not asian(understandable) so hands off that mouse and fuck off







My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:










free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 82% on asian
Link: The REAL how Asian are you Test written by forevercursed on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

almost perfect

Take the quiz: "HOW'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=32104">"HOW ASIAN ARE YOU??"

almost perfectly asian
you are almost perfect. you maintain grades and get to where you need to get without extra baggage. you live by rules, but they can be bent to your perfection.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Questions for my conservative friends.

I've always had questions about conservative american culture, since I'm an outsider. Even though I was born and raised among you, there are aspects of your culture that still wonder about.

1) Y'all drink hella milk. Not kidding. One of the things we talk about with each other when you're not around is how particular you are about your milk. Sometimes I find myself having to explain it to astounded foreigners. And when I travel with you to southern Europe, South America, or Asia, I often find myself having to talk white americans through the shock they experience when they find out the reality of milk around the world. Have you ever thought about traveling with your own milk supply?

2) When it comes to having rhythm, don't you think it's more of a nurture issue, rather than a nature issue? Don't you think it's something you can learn, with some persistence? Is it important to you that your kids have rhythm? Or do you see that as apart from your culture?

3) Are you concerned at all that minorities are angry all the time? Don't you ever want to get to the bottom of it?

4) Is it acceptable in your culture to show your displeasure at food that other people are eating? In my culture it's considered rude to say "yuck" or "how can you eat that?" but I've experienced it enough to suspect that you don't find it rude.

5) Why are you always leaving garbage in my car?

6) Are you glad to live in an integrated society? Would you go back to segregation if you could? Would it appeal to you at all to be able to raise your family in an all white setting?

7) Do you really trust the government to protect the rights of minorities given it's long history of discrimination? E.g., slavery, segregation, Japanese-American interntment, etc. Do you expect minorities to not be weary?

8) If all the undocumented workers were rounded up and deported, there would be a widespread crisis in the service and construction industries; the general economy would stall. Does it bother you that our economy is propped up by a caste of people with no legal rights?

9) If, in the future, the USA loses its status as a world superpower, would you ever consider emigrating to, for example, China or to a united Europe to make a better life for your kids? Would you consider giving up your culture or language so that your kids would assimilate better? Or would you prefer to live in an enclave? How long do you think it would take you to learn the new language?

10) Will you please teach me how to be rich? I want to know how you do that.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Standard English? Obviously not.

A lot of people think they speak better English than I do because they are white.

What, am I wrong?

I speak Standard American English. Not that I care to. But, when called upon to invoke that prestigious, artificial, and soul-less dialect, I do it. And I do it well.

Also, I have a BA and MA in Linguistics, so the chances are that I am more aware of SAE grammar than you.

Pay attention.

BAD: Noun (the good, the bad, and the ugly)

BAD: Adjective (this rice is bad)

BADLY: Adverb of manner (you dance badly); incompetent.

BAD: Adverb of intensity, negative aspect (he's bleeding pretty bad)

I SAID PAY ATTENTION.

When you use the copular verb to be and you want to describe the subject with a predicate noun, you use the adjective:
You are bad at dancing.

Note the impossible alternative:
You are badly* at dancing.

Verbs of sense stimuli (to look, to sound, to feel, to taste, to smell) behave like copular verbs.
You smell bad. You look bad. You sound bad. I feel bad.

When paired with the -ly version, they describe MANNER, children.
You smell badly.

Read: "your sense of smell is below average"; or "you perform the action of smelling in an improper manner." Yes, it is grammatically possible, but it has a different meaning than "you smell bad."

Don't believe me? You are a victim. You are a victim of English teachers who overgeneralized the -ly marker of adverbs.

"In English, adverbs are marked with -ly. This is a descriptive statement. Most regularly-formed adverbs are, indeed, marked with -ly.

BUT NOT ALL.

What, do you want examples? Please!
It is very easy to provide tons of non "-ly" adverbs. I can do that no problem. I bet you could, too, if you thought hard enough. What's wrong? Am I going too fast for you? I guess you were dead wrong about the whole adverb thing. Don't worry, you'll do just fine in life. Nobody will ever call your grammar into question.

Maybe you say things like:
I feel badly about the whole situation.

And maybe you say it because you think it sounds smart. Fine. It's a free country and heaven knows I'm not a dialect snob.

But don't pretend it's Standard English to talk that way, because obviously it's not. And don't correct my grammar, chuck; your white priviledge doesn't apply.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Major Breakthroughs

I am having some major breakthroughs today in learning how to find chords on the fret board.

I don't want to say it all happend because of the circle of fifths, but this is all related to the fact that I just printed this baby out and slipped it into my notebook window.

I still need to practice practice practice. It's one thing to be able to find the chords. It's one thing to know the theory. It's another to have it in muscle memory.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Mrs. Kitterman's 4th grade class

Ok, so I was staying up to watch the news about my student, whose deportation is now on hold, but whose mom is still in Federal detention for a crime of paperwork.

The lead story was this totally rivetting and frighting story about a violent carjacking in Thurston County. The perp might not survive the night. His name is Trevor Kneeland, and he was in my 4th Grade Class. Mrs. Kitterman; Michael T. Simmons. I remember when he ran away from school.

Homeland Security

Here's a story about one of my students who the Department of Homeland Security is trying to deport. It's total bullshit. The students are worried about sending the family back to Mexico, where they have absolutely nothing. They should also be worried about no justice in America, or the bullshit that passes for justice. You'll notice the news uses words like "illegal" and "smuggle" when they should be using words like "undocumented," "crossing the border" and "paper work bullshit."

The good news, as you can see by the update, is that the deportation has been delayed by a judge. But keep the mom in your prayers. She's still in INS detention. She's a sweet, hard working lady, and her son is a good kid.

---

Anyway, it reminds me of when Grandma Rosa asked me to take her to Immigration to renew her green card, which had been expired for THREE YEARS. She said we should be there at 10. So we showed up at Immigration at 10, and I thought, cool, we'll go to lunch, and then back home, and I can have the afternoon.

Of course, Immigration doesn't work that way, we showed up at 10 and at quarter to 4 they called grandma's number. The officer just wanted to get Grandma processed; but of course Grandma turned on the grandma charm. "Please don't deport me! John, do not let them deport me!" I was a little confused be her behavior, because the dude was just asking for info.

"Nobody is going to deport you, Rosa", says the officer.

"OH! Bless you! God bless you!" says grandma, laughing, smiling, and patting his hand.

I wonder why it was me that she asked to take her to INS. When I found out that her paperwork was so long expired, I wondered if they were going to take her into custody. I didn't know. Certainly one of her sons would have put up a bigger fight to keep her out of detention. I should have been more worried.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Grading hell 2005

Hi kids, I'm in grading hell again.

Next week I'll tell you about streaking and store bought meatloaf. I also want to check out this site when I have more time.

Also, there is the small issue of irrigating my sinuses with saline.

Oh, and H moved out of my house. I took her room.

Last thing: must must must practice guitar. Goodnight.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Columbus Day?

The man was a brave explorer. Also, he was the first to take slaves across the Atlantic. Also, he brought Europeans to this hemisphere, who brought germs and colonial oppression that killed millions.

Estimates go from 12 million to 54 million people living in this hemisphere when Columbus arrived. Just for fun, let's take the conservative number and say that the population of the Americas was just 12 million at the time of Columbus' arrival. Certainly three hundred years later, when the european colonies were really taking hold, they didn't have to deal with millions and millions of indiginous people. Certainly not. European germs killed them well in advance of the expansion of the colonies. Those who survived the germs were subjugated by the Europeans themselves.

Don't kid yoursef. This nation is paved on the flesh and bones of cultures that have been exterminated.

Maybe we can't blame it all on Christopher Columbus. But neither should we call him a hero.

I take days off of work for Jesus Christ and Dr. King; for the veterans and fallen of this country's wars; these are people who deserve to be commemorated.

______

Dear Alfy's Pizza,

Why does your commercial for pizza start with horses running in a field?

sincerely, jp

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Blog thing. hmph.

Your Personality Profile
You are dignified, spiritual, and wise.Always unsatisfied, you constantly try to better yourself.You are also a seeker of knowledge and often buried in books.
You tend to be philosophical, looking for the big picture in life.You dream of inner peace for yourself, your friends, and the world.A good friend, you always give of yourself first.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

BUILD MY MONORAIL

How many times do I have to vote for the damn monorail?

As many times as it takes.

Look, the light rail that they're building up MLK and under Beacon Hill, that's great. It crosses traffic, so necessiarily it will get into wrecks with people who try to beat the train. Every once in a while, there will be a fatality. And unSound Transit spent a cool billion even before they broke ground.

So get real. That train is never going to continue to Northgate. Light rail as a system, whether elevated, surface, or tunnel is more expensive than monorail. Monorails in Seattle and Japan make money. FIND ONE light rail system that turns a profit.

And no, there's never going to be a subway in Seattle. Too expensive, too seismic.

So if you want grade-separated rapid transit, it's going to have to be monorail. The first step is to build the 10 mile Green Line. Once that is up and running and making money, then we start thinking about crossing the Green Line with other lines. That's how you build a system, children.

Come on. You've been to 5th Avenue. You know that it's a quiet, tranquil, tree-lined street. You've been to Paris, you know that the best part of the M�tro ride is the elevated part. You've been to Chicago, you know that Chicagoans would sooner go without many other things before giving up that loud, ugly, supremely functional elevated system. You've been to Vancouver, you know that the much beloved Skytrain is a rampart compared to our monorail.

Now we have a chance to build the first phase of an elevated train that will be quiet and attractive.

Don't even talk to me about the $11 billion finance plan. The actual cost of the project was less than $2 billion to build all 14 miles. The crazy finance plan was inflated due to screw ups in the SPMA office and the unwillingness of bs politicians to do what it takes to get high rated bonds.

So all you haters who want to fill my comments with your bullshit, save your breath. You will have plenty of space to post your anti-monorail bullshit, but not here. And all you politicians who pretended to support the monorail project when it was popular, but held back your support when it counted, and then wagged your finger when the $11 billion finance plan hit the fan, you start working on your resume, because I am not voting for your bitch ass.

Monorail? Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes again. Figure it out.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Fast food a Seattle

I had a writing assignment about Seattle culture in my Italian class. We were supposed to write "una paginetta" so here is mine. It's a five-paragraph essay, because I don't know how to write much else.

""""""""""""""""""""

Il fenomeno fast food americano e� conosciuto da per tutto come un insalubre ed culturalmente omogenea conseguenza del consumerismo americano, indicativo anche del disinteresse culurale dagli americani in cuanto alla cucina. Si pensa immediatamente del hamburger, delle patitine fritte, e di una coca-cola pieno pieno di cubetti di ghiaccio. Ed e� giusta questa generalizazione in cuanto alla cultura dominante. Ma la societa� americana e� una societa� degl�immigranti, molti dei quali viviamo qui vogliendo gardare le nostre culture d�origine. Come quelli del passato, i nuovi immigrante aggiungiono le sue tradizione alla societa� dominante. E� per questo che qui a Seattle possiamo contare il teriyaki, il tacobus, ed il pho come alternativi etnichi e veloci ai hamburger, patitine fritte e coca-acola pieno pieno di cubetti di ghiaccio.

Il teriyaki e� la tradizione giapponesa di macerare degli cubetti di carne nella salsa di soia e lo zucchero, e poi di metterli nello spiedo, grigliarli e servirli con il riso. Adesso a Seattle ci sono pochi ristoranti teriyaki giapponesi; il mio preferito e� Musashi nella zona Wallingford. Ma ristoranti teriyaki non giapponsesi; ci ne sono un mucchio. La maggiorita� sono coreani; servono l�equivalente coreana di teriyaki chi si chiama il bulgogi. Come la maggiorita� degli americani non fanno la differenza fra il teriyaki ed il bulgogi, siguono chiamandolo il teriyaki. Spesso il bulgogi e fatto con delle trancie di carne piu fino; e servito nelle porzioni piu� generose. Nonostante, il americano aspetta che glieci messono molta salsa sopra carne e riso, quindi ed i coreani ed i giapponesi ne fanno loro una salsa dolce. Se preferici tu il teriyaki o pure il bulgogi nella manera tradizionale, chidelo senza di salsa.

Un altro alternativo etnico alla �fast food� e il tacobus. Ciaro che sono molti i ristoranti cosidetti �messicani� a Seattle, ma la maggiorita di questi si tratono della versione americanizata della cucina messicana, e non dove piace mangiare agli immigranti messicani. Il tacobus e� dove si mangia i piatti messicani autentici. Spesso si trovono questi posti negli machine dipinto di bianco, tipo o camion o autobus, convertite in cucini, alcuni con salette da mangiare. Si puo� chiedere i tuoi taco in inglese, ma pochi fanno cosi�. E bisogna dire che la cucina autentica messicana no chiede nulla da Taco Bell, Azteca, o Toreros. Il mio tacobus preferito e El asadero, un autobus bianco su Rainier Avenue.

Il pho e� un ricco brodo di manzo vietnamita con dei vermicelli fatto di farina di riso e con delle trancie fine di manzo che si cucine nel caldo del brodo. Alla tavola si mette delle erbe asiatiche, i germoglii di soya, e la salsa dolce o picante al gusto. Si deve sapere bene mangiare con i bachetti nella mano destra e un cuchiaio orientale di sopa nella sinistra. Sempre si vede agli americani mangiando il pho con l�argenteria europea, cio�e� sempre un casino incredibile. Il mio pho preferito si trova a Than Bros. Pho, cio�e� una piccola catena di sei ristoranti nella regione. Gli�altri ristoranti pho, sopratutti quelle nella zona internazionale e nella parte sud est di Seattle, dove habitono molti vietnamiti, anche questi sono buoni, ma Than Bros. offre a ogni tavoli un piatto dei piccoli bign� alla panna che sono da morire. I bign� alla panna e le altre pasticcerie sono resti della colonizazione francesi del�ultimo secolo.

Insomma e� possible mangiare veloce e bene a Seattle senza chiedere ketchup. Il teriyaki, il tacobus, e il pho sono tre� alternativi al diffuso hamburger. Posson essere anche� piu� sani pure tutti i tre� alternativi del hamburger, ma bisonga dire che non ci mancono le opportunita� d�aggiungere della grassa oppure delle calorie a qualsiasi cosa per rederla cosi insalubre come una docena di mcnugget. Il teriyaki, chiaro, si mangia spesso affogato nella salsa zuccherata. In vece di chidere un piato di taco sani, si puo� scheglere i taquito fritti in ogio, ricchi di grasa. Il pho oppure... e� quasi imposible renderlo insalubre. Allora, la prossima volta che hai bisogno di mangare di manera fast food a Seattle, pensa agli alternativi etnichi.